Chapter 4 Chair 2 Saga


 Chapter 4
Unseated: The Podcast, the Merch, the Movement”

By Chair 2 — Speaker of Truth, Survivor of Ghosts, CEO of My Damn Space


Welcome to Unseated™, the podcast where I, Chair 2, take the mic — because let’s be honest: I’ve heard enough from sad boys in trackpants.

If you’ve ever:

  • Been ghosted while sitting next to a man who swears he’s “deep”
  • Held up a situationship with nothing but emotional lumbar support
  • Been replaced by Chair 3, a barstool with commitment issues

This show is for you.


Episode 1: “Spiritual but Still Trash”

I sit down with Lamp with Trust Issues — a mood lighting icon who once overheard a full love triangle unfold during load-shedding.

Topics include:

  • Why “vibes” aren’t a personality
  • What to do when a man starts crying into your lampshade
  • Forgiveness vs. power-saving mode

Episode 2: “Recliner Rita Tells All”

Recliner Rita (queen of boundaries and orthopedic support) shares how she went from trauma-dump furniture to full-time throne.

She once held space for a guy who said::

“You’re the only one who lets me be myself.”

He cheated on the recliner.


Episode 3: “Cleaning Up After Emotional Messes”
We talk:

  • How to sweep up after a love bomb detonates
  • The invisible labor of emotional hygiene
  • Why metaphors don’t count as apologies


Merch Line Drop: “Chair 2 Says No” Collection - Coming soon!

Available in hot pink, reclaimed wood, and pure sass.

Items Include

  • “Not Your Emotional Support Furniture” hoodie
  • “Gaslight. Ghost. Grow.” tote bag
  • “You Can’t Sit With Me (Until You Apologize Sincerely)” mug
  • Chair 2’s Affirmation Sticky Notes:
    • “I do not carry what broke me”
    • “Silence is a response, too”
    • “Respect the cushion or get off the seat”

Why the Movement Matters

Look. I’ve seen too much.
I’ve been cried on, lied near, and blamed for things I didn’t even have limbs to control.

But now?


I’m Unseated.

I’m free.
And I’m not letting anyone emotionally squat on me ever again.
TL;DR
  • You are not furniture.
  • Support is earned, not assumed.
  • If they can’t sit with your boundaries, they can sit on the floor.


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