chapter 11 chair 2 saga

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Chapter 11

Dating After the Casperverse: The Manual

Written by: Candz — HR Manager of Her Own Heart, Head Bouncer at Club Sanity.


Step 0: Mindset Reset Before You Even Touch a Dating App

Before you so much as flirt with a barista or swipe right on someone with a dog, you need to clear the Casperverse residue out of your brain.


Rules:

  • No “maybe he’s different” energy. Assume they’re all auditioning until proven otherwise.

  • Your boundaries are now titanium — they don’t bend for pretty eyes or shared playlists.

  • If your gut so much as flutters in discomfort, treat it like a fire alarm, not a butterfly.

Step 1: Screening Like You’re HR for Your Own Heart

Think of yourself as the bouncer at Club Sanity. You have a velvet rope and a guest list that only says: “Emotionally Safe People Only.”

Your Red Flag Radar Now Detects:

  • Love bombing in week one. (“You’re my soulmate” = You’re my next emotional hostage.)

  • Mystery emotional wounds that are “too deep to explain right now.”

  • Any sentence starting with “My ex was crazy.”

  • “I’m not looking for anything serious… but I still want all your attention.”

Your Green Flags Include:


  • They respect your boundaries without negotiation.

  • They communicate clearly without making it sound like a philosophy riddle.

  • They don’t punish you for having a life outside them.

Step 2: The First 3 Dates = Reconnaissance, Not Romance

  • Date 1: Light fun. Coffee, walks, tacos. You are not auditioning for girlfriend; you are observing for patterns.

  • Date 2: Increase conversation depth. See if they can hold space without making everything about themselves.

  • Date 3: Gentle boundary test. Tell them no about something small and watch how they respond. (Do they sulk? Try to change your mind? Or accept it like an adult?)

Rule: If they fail any test, they don’t get a fourth date. This is not the remedial class of love.

Step 3: Communication Checkpoints

Healthy talk looks like:

  • Clear “I” statements, no blame games.

  • Matching effort — texts, calls, plans.

  • Consistency without you having to remind them what consistency means.

Casperverse flashbacks look like:

  • You’re suddenly decoding messages like they’re CIA files.

  • Your feelings keep getting minimized.

  • They “forget” promises faster than they finish sentences.

Step 4: Non-Negotiable Boundaries

These are your VIP Guest List Rules — break one and they’re out:

  1. Respect my time — no constant last-minute cancellations or vanishing acts.

  2. Respect my emotional space — no guilt-tripping or forced vulnerability.

  3. Respect my pace — we move forward when I say I’m ready, not when they want a shortcut.

  4. Respect my independence — I had a life before you, I’m keeping it after you.

Step 5: Exit Strategy = No Drama, No Negotiation

If you see the old patterns creeping back in:


  • One warning — if it’s minor.

  • Immediate cut-off — if it’s major.

  • No “maybe he’ll change” contracts. You’re not running a rehabilitation program for emotionally unavailable men.

Step 6: Emotional Aftercare

Dating after the Casperverse can still be triggering.
Your aftercare kit should include:

  • Friends who will roast the guy on command.

  • A solo date night ritual so you don’t get too hooked on outside validation.

  • A “blocked is blessed” playlist for post-date red flag recoveries.

Pro Tip: Treat every date like a collaboration audition for a movie you’re producing.

The lead role is your partner. They need talent (emotional intelligence), availability (time & effort), and no criminal record in the land of empathy.

Closing Line:
You’re not “hard to love.” You’re just not accepting discount affection at full price anymore

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