Emotional Bullshit Bingo

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Emotional Bullshit Bingo – The Extended Cut

By Candz – Boundary Bouncer & Chief Bullsh*t Auditor


Premise:

You ever try to have a normal conversation with someone about how they hurt you… and suddenly find yourself 20 minutes deep into a monologue about their childhood trauma, your “tone,” and Plato?

Welcome to Emotional Bullsh*t Bingo — a game no one consents to, everyone loses, and the prize is often insomnia.


How It Works:

Grab your mental bingo card. Every time Casper (or his emotionally unavailable clone) says one of these lines, mark your square.

First to BINGO?

Wins peace, healing, and maybe a therapist with openings.

Runner-up?

Gets another unsolicited text that ends in “I forgive you.”



Bonus Round: Emotional Gymnastics Edition


If he says more than three of the following in one convo, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in an escape room.

“I can’t explain it, it’s a feeling.”

“You’re not perfect either.”

“Why can’t we just enjoy the moment?”

“Your energy shifted and that scared me.”

“You made me feel like the bad guy.”

If this happens, put the bingo card down and pick up your self-respect. And maybe your keys. And maybe block him on WhatsApp.

What To Do When You Hit BINGO

  1. Celebrate quietly. You spotted the patterns. That’s growth.

  2. Do not collect $200. (Or his “I forgive you” monologue.)

  3. Block and bless. Peace is the prize.

  4. Print the card. Frame it. Gift it to a friend with taste in emotionally confusing men.



BONUS: Alternative “Win” Prizes (because Casper sure didn’t come with closure)

  •  A fresh boundary.

  •  A playlist that doesn’t include sad-boy lyrics.

  •  Cutting the last soul cord without needing a drum circle.

  •  Telling your story so loud even Chair 2 claps.